Anxiety 101: A Crash Course On Situational and Disordered Anxiety

There are things that most humans experience, but there is a world of a difference between how they experience them. And one of the major things that I hear around me are "everyone experiences anxiety" and "just take deep breaths, you've got this."

The truth is, people saying these things to us isn't helpful in the slightest.

We've all experienced a little bit of anxiety—everyone does. We've had those moments where our stomach feels like it's weighted down, nausea roils within us, and we can't seem to breathe. We're all going to break out in a cold sweat at least once when something goes wrong, right? So we've all got anxiety. But situational anxiety isn't the same thing as an anxiety disorder, and that's really the issue that seems to get overlooked a lot.

The easiest way to differentiate situational anxiety and an anxiety disorder is to ask yourself: Does my anxiety go away? With situational anxiety, the situation may change and the anxiety goes away. The next time that situation comes up, you may be anxious again, but that doesn't mean it's disordered. It's the situation causing the anxiety. With disordered anxiety on the other hand, that anxiety may never go away. Disordered anxiety is anxiety that a) has a trigger but you're reacting out of proportion, or b) has no trigger at all and you're anxious for nothing.

Those with Generalized Anxiety Disorder (GAD) have to face anxiety every day and most often, it's for absolutely no reason. Can you imagine what it's like not to be able to breathe? To feel like you're about to collapse and have someone walk over and tell you "just calm down. Breathe. It's not a big deal." You can know that it's not a big deal, but you can't just logic your anxiety away.

Those with Social Anxiety Disorder (SAD) may find themselves frozen when they walk into a room that's full of people. Their hands may get clammy, they may start trembling or feeling like they're suffocating, or maybe they'll sit in a hair and hold their trash for hours when there's a trash can nearby. Because they're paralyzed! They can't get up in front of all these people. It's just easier to hold the trash and wait. And wait, and wait, and wait...

It's like telling a person with a broken leg to get up and walk, to pull it together and keep going. Maybe, if they pushed hard enough, they could, but would it be a good idea? Absolutely not.

The point is, anxiety plagues all of us and we all have different ways of coping with it, but some of us experience it so much more severely than others. There are those of us who have never passed out because of a panic/anxiety attack, and there are those of us who have.

Now you may be wondering, "Why don't people just say that then?" And really, the reasoning behind that differs from person to person, but I've met many people who think they're just being silly, or they think everyone deals with it and that they're the only ones who can't handle it right. But the truth is, neither of these things are true.

Anxiety hurts. It steals your breath, it makes you feel weak, and it even makes you feel inferior. We're all different, and that means our anxiety journeys are going to be different. And that's okay. We cope different, we experience things different, everything is just going to be different.

So my question here for all you is: Why do we expect everyone to be able to push through their anxiety just like everyone else? What if theirs is worse? What if they haven't learned how to cope with it like you do?

Has anyone shown you that being anxious is okay?

I want you to know, all you anxiety warriors out there, that whether your anxiety is chronic or situational or whatever you want to call it: You have a voice. I see you, and I understand what it's like to be curled up on the floor, sobbing, barely able to get a breath in, and feeling like that bit of air isn't enough. I know what it's like to pass out because of exhaustion, because it's just too much.

I encourage you to keep fighting. Speak up for yourself. Your anxiety is not silly. It's serious and you are so strong for getting through this.

And those of you who maybe aren't plagued with anxiety, do me a favor and try to see it from our point of view. Anxiety hurts. It hurts more than I can ever explain, and I'm over here trying but words fall short. All I can say is that it hurts, because you're alone and you have to be strong. Nobody is going to be there for you through it because you can't speak up about it.

Stand beside your fellow anxiety warriors. We're all just trying our best out here.