A lot of people seem to think that anxiety and panic attacks are the same thing, or even that they manifest in the same way with everyone, but that's just not true. So, I'm going to try to set a few things straight in this article. First and foremost, let's start with this:
What's the difference between anxiety attacks and panic attacks?
To put it simply, the main difference is that anxiety attacks are more gradual than panic attacks. Panic attacks are sudden and usually don't have any understandable trigger. Anxiety attacks, on the other hand, have a trigger (even if it's not clear) and are more gradual.
With that in mind, there are some misconceptions about how the attacks are manifested. The ones that come to mind most easily are the following:
Anxiety/Panic attacks are just hyperventilating and rocking back and forth. This is actually really far from true. A lot of people—myself included—actually lose the ability to breathe in the midst of an attack. Instead of breathing too much, we aren't breathing much at all.
And as for the rocking back and forth, that's a stim (rough translation: a self-soothing technique). It's not necessarily something that everyone does when they're panicking.
Anxiety/Panic attacks cause unpredictable bouts of rage or irritability. I can't entirely say that this one isn't true—some people do cover up their anxiety with hostility to keep people away, or they may be so trapped feeling that they lash out at anyone who tries to help. But this one isn't always true. I know a lot of people who, when they're having an attack, they just withdraw into themselves and are much more of a "pushover" than normal rather than being angry or irritable. They lose the ability to withstand external pressure because the internal pressure is too much. So while this one can be true sometimes, it's not something you can just count on.
Anxiety/panic attacks manifest in nit-picky behavior (obsessive behavior) and even a hypersensitivity to disarray, chaos, or any kind of change. Now here's a question for you: did the attack cause the obsessions and compulsions or did the obsessions and compulsions cause the attack? A lot of people ignore it when people complain about things being out of order, and when someone has OCD-like behaviors, they may get stressed when something isn't where it "should" be or when they can't do their compulsive behaviors. If they have to stifle them for too long, it could lead to a mental breakdown that falls along the lines of an anxiety attack. Maybe some people, when they're having an attack, are more careful about things, but it's not always that the attack is manifesting in nitpickiness. It may be the other way around.
Anxiety/Panic attacks manifest in fast-talking, stuttering, or stumbling over words. This one can be true of many people, but the opposite can also be true. Some people stop talking entirely, as I mentioned before, so counting on people to only talk too fast or stutter when they're having an attack won't help you much. And honestly, I haven't seen people talk fast when they're having an attack as much as I have when they're just simply anxious. Once their condition elevates to an attack, that's when their engagement plummets.
Anxiety/Panic attacks manifest in sitting rigidly, staring into space, or almost seeming "zoned out." Now, if the last one is true, how is this one true? How can one fast talk and also sit rigidly and stare into space? That alone contradicts itself. While some people do zone out and withdraw during an attack, other people fidget and tremble and are constantly on the move. You can't just assume that people being still and withdrawn (perhaps dissociated) are having a panic/anxiety attack in that moment, nor can you assume that the person that's fidgeting and whose hands are trembling and who is picking at their skin or biting their nails isn't anxious.
But why do people seem to think all these things?
I think we all know about society's tendency to put us all in a box based on how it first sees us. First impressions are everything because of this fact. So when they see one person whose panic/anxiety attack is potentially more pronounced, they consider that a "normal" panic/anxiety attack and disregard all other symptoms.
The truth is, everyone manifests the attacks differently and it can even differ depending on attacks.
I'm one of those people who differs based on the attack. Sometimes, I withdraw and I become "one" with the voices in my head that haunt me and make me feel worse and worse until my breathing nearly stops and I can't see the outside of the panic/anxiety. I don't talk. I dissociate, I withdraw so severely that people notice, but perhaps don't recognize it for what it is.
Other times, I stay present. In those times, I'm the opposite. I can talk—albeit quietly—and I'm shaking, fidgeting. I squeeze my arms and hands, I pick at my cuticles, I bite my lip, I curl up in on myself, my legs usually can't stay still and they bounce. I might start tapping on myself and trying desperately to keep track of what's happening around me, but everything is spinning out of control because there's too many thoughts, too much feeling inside of me, too many urges.
Either way, a panic or anxiety attack is like falling apart bit by bit. And when there are people around you who are just oblivious, that almost makes it worse. Especially when the person has told you time and time again, "I'm here for you."
But when you show signs, when you start struggling, are they? If you can articulate it and say you're having an attack—whether a panic attack or an anxiety attack—are they going to be there or are they going to say "well, you aren't showing it like ___" and continue on as if nothing is wrong?
Honestly, I've experienced both, but I experience the latter so much more that I've stopped telling people when I'm panicking and I bring things with me to try to help calm me down if/when it happens. Either way, it's not the greatest, but the above stereotypes of anxiety/panic attacks aren't always true. Nothing that us humans came up with can always be true. We're imperfect people living in an imperfect society. We can't see everything, we can't see what's truly within other people.
Please understand that everyone displays things differently. That's okay. That doesn't make them any less valid. They're still fighting a hard battle and that doesn't need to be belittled.
And for you Anxiety Warriors out there... stay strong. You will get through this. One breath at a time, you will. I (and all the frogs) believe in you.