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  • Writer's pictureAnna Pearl

"Before I Let Go," by Marieke Nijkamp

Genre: Fiction, Contemporary, Mystery

Page Count: 325+

Published: 2018 (Sourcebooks Fire)

Potential Triggers: mentions of LGBTQIA+, suicide/death, "idol worship", cultism,

Mental Health Topics: Bipolar Disorder,


This is a review for a book that I actually wasn't able to finish, and I'll tell you why after I explain what this book is about.


Corey and Kyra were an inseparable duo in the Alaskan town of Lost. Even when they didn't fit in with anyone else, they always had each other. But Corey's family had to move, so the two make a promise to stay strong in their friendship. Kyra promises to wait for Corey's return. However, just before Corey goes to visit, Kyra dies under mysterious circumstances. The entire community of Lost talks about how it was "meant to be" and pushes Corey away as a stranger. But Corey knows something is wrong. And she's going to find out.


This is a book that, at first glance, sounds like it's going to be really action packed, but in reality, it's really passive. I found it to be incredibly dry, even as I got halfway through the book and that really bummed me out because after reading the blurb, I was really hoping for something that thrilled me and kept me gripped until the end.


One of the things that irked me a little bit is that the book is primarily about Lost. You get absolutely no time to get to know Corey before Kyra died, which perhaps was supposed to make it get into the action faster but... there wasn't as much action as there perhaps could've been.


This book actually made me mad quite a few times because the community struck me as cultish, which only proved to be true the further I got into it. They seemed to make a cult around this bipolar girl and when she died, they claimed it was "fate" or whatever they want to call it. The truth is that it could've been, and probably was suicide (I didn't read far enough to find out). After casting her out for years, they suddenly embrace her because she can "predict the future" and when she dies, they're fine with it. They make a shrine to her, they've gone so far in this.


Overall I would not recommend this book. It's absolutely crazy and I don't mean that in a good way. I thought when picking it up that since it's by a New York Times bestselling author and was on the bestselling list for a while that it would be good. That is the opposite of the truth. This is honestly one of the worst books I've tried to read in a while.

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