Dissociation 101: Dissociative Identity Disorder (DID)

Do you actually know what Dissociative Identity Disorder is? Maybe you think it's the disorder "crazy people" have, maybe you don't know at all, maybe you know a little bit but are scared to say so. Regardless of how much you know, here's a bit of an explanation as to some truths about it.

A Brief Overview

Dissociative Identity Disorder (DID), also known as Multiple Personality Disorder, is a severe dissociative disorder that's caused by trauma. This disorder usually surfaces before the age of 7, by which the child will have different "personalities." These personalities are the child's "alters" or "headmates."

The body the alters all live in is called the "host," the "head," or even sometimes the "leader." Each person has their own preference as to what this "body" is called.

When an alter is in control, it is said that they are "fronting." And sometimes, when on online forums, the alter may type their name at the end of each message so people know who's fronting. (For example: "Hi!! How are you today??" /Pearl)

Some people believe that DID is just possession—such as that of demons—but this isn't true. It's best described as a coping mechanism gone "wrong" (but it's not necessarily wrong so much as believed not to be good). To summarize what it really is without using technical terms, think of it this way:

All children have their own separate personalities. They have themselves, then their alternative selves (which may be a superhero or an animal or something else). As they grow older, those personalities usually merge into one personality, which is then known as that child. For someone with DID, who has been severely traumatized potentially from the time they've been born, the personalities don't merge, remaining as separate entities and becoming alters. Sometimes the child named the alters, but sometimes, the alters named themselves. It can depend on when and how they were created.

But overall, because of this fairly "childlike" approach to things, those with DID can have entire internal worlds! There can be towns and cities and forests and anything else that they so choose (or don't choose). Depending on the person, each alter may even have their own house if they would like to.

Alters, What Are They?

Alters are basically entirely different people that live inside the mind of the host, becoming a part of them. They can be of a different race, sex, or age, among other things. Each alter is different in terms of what they can and cannot do, along with their preferences. They can each prefer something different, have different allergies, and have different disorders. They are best classified as entirely different people rather than simply "personalities" once they're an alter. Along with this, how they change in terms of dynamics can be a bit "unnatural," but it is in fact entirely natural for alters.

One of the "unnatural" things I'm referring to is the fact that alters can change ages naturally or at will. What I mean by that is, alters can grow older, stay as old as they are, or decide to become younger. Whatever they'd like to be, they are, which can give them a sense of being that's far stronger than some of that which other people have.

Another odd thing about alters is the fact that they can be of different genders than the body they're fronting in. As such, it can be a bit awkward for some alters to front in a body of the opposite gender. (Though some of you may be thinking, isn't it often the same way for LGBTQIA+ people? I'm inclined to agree, but that's not entirely the route we're going here.)

Some alters cannot front, some alters cannot be co-conscious, and other alters don't share memories. But then you have the ones that can, and may even do all three. When alters are co-conscious, one alter is fronting (or controlling) but another is conscious of what's happening. This means they both get the memory (at least most of the time) and it alleviates the "amnesia" symptoms a bit. Then, sometimes you have "front-stuck" alters, who are always co-conscious.

When alters don't share memories, you get the "amnesia" symptoms. One of the alters has the memory of it, but it may not be the fronting alter, meaning that it's currently "forgotten."

One important thing to note is that there's no real limit to how many alters there can be. Which means, you may be meeting a new alter more often than you think. One may have figured out how to front when it previously couldn't, one might've been given control after having been co-conscious for a long time, and others may have just been created for various reasons. So especially when you're trying to figure out who has what memory... it may be a bit complicated.

Sometimes you can tell that the host "isn't themselves" (that a different alter is fronting) but sometimes you may not be able to tell very well, so if the person's preferences changed drastically, you can guess that they might have swapped. There's no easy way to tell if the alters have swapped unless the person has a physical tell such as a head twitch. Voice tone could be one way of trynig to tell which one they are, but it'd still be hard. The alters each have their own voices that don't sound like the hosts, but when they front, it merges with the host's natural voice. In the end, their voice will sound slightly lower/higher/louder/softer/more-accented than the hosts, rather than like its own voice.

On occasion, a person can get stuck as an alter, rather than swapping. This being "stuck" can last for seconds, minutes, hours, or even days, weeks, or months! This can make them seem "normal" for a bit, when really, they are still themselves and the alters are still there inside of them, just not fronting. Your moods can affect your fronting, so if you get stuck in a certain mood for a while, you may be stuck as a certain alter.

One rather unique thing about alters is that there's a thing called "fusion," which is where alters combine to create new alters. The current alters are generally not a fan of this—though it is reversible—but it is possible and happens on occasion.

Alters, being their own people, can create their own friend groups. They can be friends with someone while another alter isn't, which could potentially create some major conflict for the relationship if the person doesn't understand. And just as alters don't form the same relationships, they can agree/disagree on everything else. It all ends up coming down to who's in control at that moment.

You can ask certain alters to come out—to front—but there's no telling if they'll listen or be able to "take control." Leaving a lot of this up to just accepting which alter the person is at that moment. Because while technically more than one alter can be in the body at once, even just co-conscious, that can be really tiring for the fronter. When unnecessary, it may be best not to request someone to come forward.

Even if they aren't fronting (controlling), sometimes the alters can be felt by the controlling alter. It's not them fighting for control, but it's a similar feeling to someone hovering over your shoulder, just watching.

And There You Have It!

DID can be as much of a blessing as it is a curse. It's a disorder that was created with the intent of helping the creator, whether it be by giving them company through the abuse, or letting other alters have the experiences and memories so that one person doesn't have to bear them alone. However, once out of the traumatic situation, it can make life a bit complicated and difficult, particularly when people aren't sure how to respond to it.

One of the most important things to keep in mind when engaging with a person with DID is: remember they aren't always going to act the same. It's not fair to them to ask that they're the same person all the time when who they are specifically states that they cannot be.

Those with Dissociative Identity Disorder have had a painful past. Please be understanding of this and recognize that they may back away from things for unknown reasons.

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Special thanks to C. R. Starrett for helping me read through this before I posted it. Your input helped so so much. <3