Hiding The Chronic

We often get it wrong when people say their condition is "chronic."

We just assume they mean that it hurts (whether physically, emotionally, or mentally)—but then often judge them for how they don't seem to be displaying the pain. They manage to hide the pain, so obviously it's not that bad... right?

Here's a fairly well-known quote from an anonymous hematologist:

"Chronic pain patients hide it so well, you can't go by how they look on the outside. They have to learn how to function with pain, you can't just roll around on the floor all day screaming in agony. Medical personnel in hospitals don't even realize this. A chronic pain patient can function with a pain level that would incapacitate any other person."

I'm bringing the idea of chronic pain into this because we often think of chronic pain when we think of anything being chronic. While there are so many different things that can be chronic, I'm going to use this example simply because it's more vivid in most peoples' minds.

Think about it this way: People who have to deal with constant pain don't get to choose whether they're in pain or not. Pain killers may take the edge off, but it still hurts. Some days are worse than others. Some days they can manage it; other days, they can barely get out of bed.

The definitions of chronic can be summarized is as follows:

Anything that is long lasting, such as a disease, a habit, a weakness, or something that recurs often. It can be constant or it can consistently come back time and time again.

Does that shed any light on what I'm meaning here? Chronic pain isn't always acute pain, but it's rarely not there.

Now what about other things that you might hear people say are chronic? What about chronic stress? Chronic exhaustion? Chronic illnesses or diseases?

They're long-lasting, regardless of whether they come and they go or if they're constant. They never go away.

And another sad note about things that are chronic is that many times, they can't be cured, they can only be alleviated. The chronic pain can be muted by painkillers, the chronic exhaustion can be lessened by more rest, the chronic illness/disease can be medicated whether by medications or by therapy or something else, but it doesn't go away.

The painkillers wear off and the pain returns.

You run out of energy again because you can only get so much energy from a single rest.

Your chronic illness never leaves you and some days it comes after you with more vengeance than other days.

So let's come back to that thought about chronic patients not being strong; is their struggle not as bad as they say it is because they're capable of hiding it?

Chronic patients learn to function as best they can, because that's all they have. You get one life and that's the one they received. They're making the most of it, even though it hurts. They hide the pain for various reasons, but it's still there. And on days where they're doing better, it's not gone. They weren't making it up. They just get a brief break.

The truth is, anyone who battles a chronic anything is so much stronger than people make them out to be. Chronic pain, chronic exhaustion, chronic stress, etc. There are so many conditions I don't know and cannot name but if it's chronic, it hurts in some way. If it's chronic, it's not easy. It's pervasive; it never leaves. It's the company you never wanted.

Chronic isn't weak. It's not easy. To all you chronic warriors out there: You are doing so well. I admire your strength. I'm rooting for you and I wish you many beautiful days. Hang in there. You are loved. (*a small frog hops over and sets down a flower for you, smiling at you before hopping away*)

Sources:

https://www.dictionary.com/browse/chronic