Song #18 - "Knife Under My Pillow," Maggie Lindemann

“Alright, do you know what song you want to try today?”

My voice teacher sat at his desk, relaxed in his own house as I sat, on edge, in mine. Two screens stood between us and by our posture alone, you could tell who was the one that felt like they were dying inside.

The fact that my breaths were literally rasping out of me wasn’t helping me hide it.

Silently, I nodded. “I’m sticking with Knife Under My Pillow, like I said last week.”

He smiled. “Perfect. Whenever you’re ready.”

The vocal warm-ups we’d done hadn’t prepared me for the lack of breath I’d have to sing a whole song with. Acapella, no breath, and to a song that I wasn’t even sure if google had the right lyrics for.

I’m going to fail this.

For a long moment, I sat there, letting him wait as I just dwelled within myself, resolve building.

This is my song. I’m going to sing it. And I do not care if my voice cracks or shakes, he wants me to sing it like it’s mine.

So I did.

“Sorry, I don’t mean to freak you out…”

***

Knife Under My Pillow, Maggie Lindemann

Estimated Time of Memory: The beginning of either 2020 or 2021

Genre: Alt/Pop

Potential Triggers: Talks about knives,

Favorite Lyrics: “I’m staring out the window, knife under my pillow, but it’s all inside my mind.