The rain poured down on the shadowed pavement, masquerading around as the tears of clouds when truly, they could've been the pent-up tears that evaporated from my eyes every time they threatened. But as I stood there, looking into the haze of raindrops flashing by, as I felt them drip-drop on my shoulders, I felt my eyes welling up with tears.
"It'll be okay." They always said. "You'll get a second chance. You can make it right. Don't walk away."
But I wasn't ever good at that, anyways. Always turning around, returning home, always turning my back on everything I'd tried to build up and letting it fall down. Letting myself be alone, hopeless, because that's all I ever was.
All I'd ever be, too.
"Come back," They would try. "We can make this right if you just stay."
But how often is it too late?
"We're in this together." But the voices in my head was already more than enough together time. Who needs more?
The tears seemed to multiply until they threatened more intensely than I'd felt in a while. It's too late—it always was.
I walk away, I walk away, I walk away, and how many times do I lose the opportunity to help someone? Help myself? Give me hope?
Before I paint it over with glistening paint and say it's all fine, yet again.
The rain hadn't relented, still beating the pavement, grass, houses, and everything else around with a kind of tired fury. The fury of one who's lost their fight, just like me.
Arms wrapped around me from behind and initially, I froze, but as I heard the familiar voice start to speak—sing, actually—I relaxed into the warm embrace. My cold, rain-dappled shoulders sagged and the tears ran down my face, salty tears mingling with icy cold rain droplets.
"Every time you walk away, I lose the one I need to save," she murmured softly. "Every time I lose a fight, and I'm dying to be right, I just paint it black. So you remember, this won't last forever. It's just another night."
The Andy Black song I'd loved time and time again that she was singing, gently into my ear, holding me tight as the tears streamed down my cheeks, off my chin and onto my tattered, soggy sneakers.
"Why are you doing this?" I whispered.
"Because you're my friend." Her reply was simple, soft, and immediate. "And I want you to know that there's a light at the end of this tunnel."
***
Paint It Black, Andy Black
Genre: Rock-Ish?
Potential Triggers: None
Favorite Lyric: "So look in my eyes, clear as the skies. You can see right through me. Your heart bleeds through me. No matter where you are, I won't leave you behind. We'll make it out alive..."