We all know what it's like to be stressed—or at least we say we do—but sometimes I wonder... do we actually know what stress feels like?
Stress: An Overview
Stress is usually characterized by a few things, including feeling "all over the place," being flakey and inconsistent, tiring easily, being unable to focus, feeling creatively blocked, having no care for long term goals, can't think of any long term goals, and your plans, creativity, energy, focus, and motivation seem to change at random.
You don't have to have all these symptoms to be classified as "stressed," but if you haven't experienced all of them, it's hard to understand the true whirlwind that stress causes within us.
When you're immensely stressed, your body can have physical reactions along with the mental, but I'll get into them later.
How Does Stress Work?
To put it as simply as possible, your brain isn't sure what's happening. It's not sure what to brace for and it's using energy much faster than normal trying to figure out what is going to happen. All that functionality that you've seemed to lose is because a part of your brain has been temporarily shut down because of how high your stress is. Your stress response is, essentially, to conserve energy in some areas while your high stress levels are using them.
Energy doesn't just grow on trees, you know?
But this energy conservation can mean that you may start shaking randomly. It may mean that your coordination is off. It can mean that you're having panic attacks. It can mean that your eyesight is blurring randomly. It can mean chest pain and high blood pressure. It can mean indigestion, heartburn, constipation, stomach pain... the list goes on.
Point is, your brain chooses where it gets the energy from. Any one of your systems could be at risk. At high stress for long periods of time, systems may shut down and you may lose certain capabilities.
Ironically, it can even mean that your sleep is off, usually in that you're under-sleeping. You may not be able to fall asleep for very long periods of time and even sometimes be struck by insomnia. So not only do you need energy, but you're now trapped in a vicious cycle of needing sleep desperately but not being able to sleep.
All in all, when you're stressed and are in conserving energy mode, nothing is reliable. Everything is back and forth and back and forth because your brain thinks you need to be adaptive. The truth may be that you don't need to be adaptive in the moment, but that doesn't change your natural instinct here.
You may not care about long term goals or be unable to think of any because your brain thinks that being "short-sighted" is the best way to cope. Or at the very least, the better way as compared to long-term goals. The mind does this for reasons such as not getting your hopes up, saving yourself from stressing over more things, and saving energy and just focusing on the present, etc.
Along with all the things I've mentioned, when we're stressed, many of us can't seem to "be creative." That's because our brains have taken all that energy and creativity and turned it into "how do I avoid dying?"
But I'm not going to die? So why would I need to avoid dying?
When we're stressed, we can go into a state of fight, flight, or freeze. These responses naturally kick in when negative things overwhelm us and our urge is to try to just save ourselves at whatever the cost.
A Quick Summary of Fight-Flight-Freeze
Fight: when you think that fighting back would be your best way to escape. You may not be fast, but you're at least strong.
Flight: when you feel that your best escape route is to flee. You don't have to be strong, but you're fast.
Freeze: when you see no real hope in the situation. So you essentially play dead and hope that you'll be left alone. After all, we all know you don't kick a man while they're down... right?
These don't just apply to physical death. They also rise and respond to mental strain and everyday situations. If someone is being mean to you, what's your response? To fight back? To flee? To freeze?
The three responses mentioned are by no means the only ones that people have ever classified as "responses." But these are generally the main three.
Now, Stress Doesn't Sound So "Glamorous," Does It?
Many of us just hold onto our stress, thinking that "if we just get through it, we'll be stronger." Or "if I was stronger, I would be able to handle this." The truth is that we all get ourselves into situations that we need to step back from and pushing yourself further into it in the name of "becoming stronger" really isn't what your body needs. By doing this, you're harming yourself.
Stress is a risk of sorts. How much stress do you need to handle? How much can you cut back on in the name of your health?
How much do you simply refuse to let go of and how much are you willing to sacrifice for that?
I've lost many things to stress, dear warriors. And my goal with this article is that you realize that you don't need to shoulder everything. That's what friends are for, that's what family is for. You have a community around you to help shoulder your burdens. We're here for you.
Take care of yourself. You're so loved and so valued. God bless.