"The Words We Keep," by Erin Stewart

Genre: Fiction/Contemporary/Slice-of-Life/Slight Romance

Page Count: 375+

Published: 2022 (Delacorte Press)

Potential Triggers: Self-harm, Panic Attacks, Bullying, Psych Ward, Crude Talk, Cursing, Sex (not graphic),

Mental Health Topics: Depression, Anxiety, Bipolar,

I've read a lot of books like this, books about anxiety and depression, books that haven't quite measured up to what I was hoping to get from them, and books that claim to be mental-health-related but I can't seem to find any sort of sign of it. This book takes all those claims and makes a category almost of it's own. It's about anxiety, it's about depression, about bipolar, about obsessions and compulsions and the crazy in-betweens that can come from dealing with all of these. This book manages to show it all in a way that is so realistic to me and I'm so grateful for that.

Maybe it's because I'm a girl who relates to so many of the things that were gone over in this book—the anxiety, the depression, the intrusive thoughts, the mood swings, the insecurities that come with trying to even be honest about who you are as a person with a mental illness—but I truly think that this was one of the best books I've found yet.

The main character, Lily Larkin, feels like she has to be perfect. When she found her "perfect" older sister Alice hurting herself in the bathroom, she started trying to outrun her feelings, her thoughts. "Be the perfect one so no one will notice you're broken inside." But sometimes, people don't let you pretend to be perfect when you're clearly falling apart.

Running used to make her feel free, but now it makes her feel more trapped than before. Never enough. Her poetry has never been darker, but perhaps there's a way to show her that there's beauty in the darkest of words. Or maybe she's as crazy as they make her feel.

What I loved most about this book is that nothing was clean cut. There was no, "here's the beginning, I can predict the ending already." There were so many twists and turns. The ups and downs left me breathless. The internal conflict verses the external was brilliant and it all tied together into a single "ultimate conflict" that kept me engaged the whole way through.

I am unashamed to say that I read the majority of this book in one sitting and read the rest whenever I had free time. I binged this book and it was brilliant.

I loved the dynamics of Lily and how multi-dimensional she was. Her emotions were infectious and her reactions to things were so understandable that I felt like we were almost one of the same person (are we? That would be creepy...). The plotline went along the lines of her just trying to get by, to be somewhat 'normal,' even though everything around her was falling apart.

It reminded me of reality, to the point where I had to remind myself of who I was after reading it for a long period of time.

I absolutely adored this book, which you might be able to tell based on my rambling, but I am so glad that I found this book and that I tried it and oh my goodness I hope I'll have the time to reread it again soon because it was absolutely brilliant. Every part of about it seemed vibrant and it just popped out. The poems scattered throughout, the dynamics of even the side characters, the little sections at the beginning of things like Lily's google searches or her messages.

I'm rambling, I know I'm rambling, but I can't stop. This was such a good book. Only time will tell if I'll still love it on the second read and third read but for picking up a book and not being sure what to expect, this one blew me away. I was not expecting to find such a gem in the pile of books I had. I was not expecting to find what perhaps might be one of my new favorite books.

This book came out this year. It's brand new and I'm shocked I got it so fast considering what a high demand book I personally think it should be.

This book is incredible you guys. I know there's a lot of potential triggers for this one, but if you're on the edge about trying it, I suggest it. It is a bit rough at times because the characters are rough around the edges but it handles them in ways that aren't "oh, let's add in a little bit of this." The subject matters are addressed and put in the light that the author thought they were due.

I'm so happy with this book. I regret nothing in terms of reading it. I just hope this review did it any sort of justice.

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The Words We Keep on Amazon