Dissociation

(Written 8/10/23)

When I start staring

I find myself wondering

When I'll see again

I view the sunset

I see muted colors

End of the day again

A time to cry

A time to lie

I swear, I'm totally fine

When cold isn't cold

And warm isn't warm

And inside I'm simply alive

When vision isn't really sight

And colors are in black and white

Open my eyes to nothing again

Taste is gone, scent is muted

Everything is simply

Gone, perhaps. Forever, it seems.

Day into day

Night into night

Will I ever feel gain?

Will I ever

Be alright

Just one more time

When everything is nothingness

Will I ever learn to feel

What is simply not there?

Colors do not exist

Tastes don't register

Everything is gone

Gone, gone, gone...

I wonder if I'll feel again

I wonder if there's something keeping me here

But for now, I sit

Unfeeling, unseeing, unsensing

Dissociated again