If I Was, But I'm Not

(Written August 2022)

If I was stronger, I would hold you all together

If I was smarter, Maybe I could say you'll weather

All the hard times up ahead

If I was gentler

I'd wipe the tears off your face.

If I was magic,

I could take every little piece

And put it together better than before.

But I am the definition

Of the weakest of them all

The dumbest, the roughest,

The saddest, the smallest

The least magical person is me

I can't hold you together

I can't tear down your walls

I'm silent. I run. I'm rough when I'm hurt.

I can't put you back together.

Not when my pieces are so scattered

I'm sorry that I'm so so so

So very far from being the one you need

I'm sorry, sorry, sorry

I'm so so sorry

Sorry I can't be.