Silence

(Written June 2022)

Stop being so

Silent

Silence never helped anyone

They always say

Be quiet

But I'm breaking, every bone

My whole body is so much

Weaker

Than they realized, than they know

And I keep pushing, harder, faster,

P.u.s.h.

Because I have to make it

They tell me to try a little

More

Stop being so weak. But I have nothing left.

No strength. Because I listened

At first

And I was silent.

I never said a word, how it

Hurt

When I tried to be exactly what you said.

"Be this. Be that. Do this. Do that."

Fail.

My mind won't let me, I wasn't enough.

Can't be. Never can be enough.

Ever

There are different monsters within

They dictate, control, "guide,"

Torture

Don't think I'm happy with who I am

But I don't say a word. I'm just

Silent

Not me but not who they want me to be.

Who is the person in the darkness,

Broken

Lonely but thinking they deserve it.

I failed at being me. I failed at being

broken.

I'm a failure. I can't do anything right.

The silence is a liar, twisting your thoughts,

Whispering

Haunting and insisting you should just give up

The swirling inside won't end,

Won't disappear

And you're stuck here, aren't you?

In the silence they demand of you.

Be silent.

The lie says you're never enough

The truth is somewhere out there, saying

The opposite

You're worth more than anyone can ever tell you.

Secret treasure, that's who you are. There are only

Battles

Over the most worthy of prizes.