(song, written on the 6th of June, 2021)
It's been a while, ten weeks or more
But right away I crashed to the floor
My self-esteem is running way too low
Add up all the little things
Then it's higher than all the mountains
I'm trying so hard not to exaggerate
But I'm over it
Today's just not my day
I tell myself every single day
Eventually all the lies will all run out
I say all the time, I'm going to be okay
I need this shit to stop, sometimes I feel like someone shot the fuel box
I didn't touch the chocolate, I made her cry
I fail all the time no matter how hard I try
Years and years just passing by
Left me wondering why I'm alive
And why I can't seem to do just one thing right
I can't leave the house, I can't go there
Cause if I do, I'll only be in despair
I blame it all on them, even though it's only me
Then I find a way to leave reality
People say it's just a phase
But they don't know how I feel
All the time, every single night and day
They don't know what it's like
To feel so hated and despised
By all your friends and enemies
They don't know what it's like
To fall asleep in the night
Wanting nothing more than just to die
Just leave me alone
I don't want to be alone
Don't wait for me
Why didn't you wait for me?